(sung to the tune of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear")
The TARDIS crashes into a ship,
The vast Titanic of old.
The Doctor lands, steps from the door,
Sees passengers decked in gold.
The spaceship brought them to view the Earth
From high on Christmas day.
The Doctor changes to tux and tie,
There’ll be no trouble today.
The ship is tended by robot host,
And Astrid serves passengers drinks.
There’s Morvin, Foon, with buff’lo wings,
They don’t care what people think.
The Doctor takes the maid to Earth,
Enthralled by the brand new sky.
They’re pulled back due to a power fail.
But the Doctor wonders why.
Up on the bridge the captain lets
The officers enjoy the night.
Midshipman Frame stays by his side.
Two officers up there is right.
The captain drops the shields to let
Some space rocks destroy the ship.
The flaming craft will fall to Earth,
A crash to end the trip.
Survivor’s group starts trav’ling up,
Through halls and stairs that are blocked,
To reach the bridge and save the ship.
The next thing has left them shocked.
The host were dressed in angel garb
But they only wanted to maul.
Poor Morvin fell, the conker flashed,
And Foon then saved them all.
The Doctor’s safe with fair Astrid
And Copper and Rickston Slade.
The Doctor heads to the deck below,
To find the game that’s been played.
The cruise ship’s owner’s been going broke
And crafted this insurance scam.
Then Astrid grabs him and leaps to death
And ends the psychopath’s sham.
The crippled ship is plummeting.
The host fly the Doctor to Frame.
The ship will land right on London town.
The disaster spot’s always the same.
The storm drive burns, he saves the ship,
But the maiden is already gone.
The Doctor opens the port to space
So her spirit will always live on.