All right. I've been sitting on that little story, and there's just no way to make it good. I'm not sure what I was even trying to accomplish with it, well, other than trying to write anything for the "Blaze" prompt. But, I need to stop trying to make it worth anything and go on to work on things I'd actually enjoy, so I posted it and now it's out of my hands. I'm not even going to post it to dw_fiction.
I did come up with an idea today, to fix series 7.2. This is what the series should have been. As it is, the problem with that series was that it had no purpose. We had two episodes with glimpses of Clara fragments, which were fantastic and made her very intriguing, and then a bunch of unconnected adventures with the real Clara, in which her character flopped back and forth in personality to whatever the episode needed to move it along. Meanwhile, every episode, at the end, the Doctor would muse, "I wonder what's up with her?" A couple of episodes did stem from the Doctor investigating possibilities (I believe "Hide" was one of them), but he finds out nothing. Thus, we, as the audience, got no hint about what was going on, nothing to make us think and imagine, until the sudden reveal at the end of "The Name of the Doctor."
I think they missed the opportunity to do something very different from anything any other companion ever did and craft a beautiful storyline in the process. The season should have consisted of episodes in which the Doctor is traveling alone, but each time, he lands somewhere and finds a Clara fragment there. He is of course getting more and more intrigued by her, and as he encounters her, he learns some hints about what's going on (but very cryptically) from the events of the episode. Also in each episode, to either a large or small extent, something must get in the way of the Doctor solving the problem, and the Clara fragment has to avert it - this is, after all, what the Great Intelligence went into the Doctor's timestream to do, and what Clara followed him to prevent. Then, in the penultimate episode, the Doctor finally meets the real Clara, who has no idea what he's on about, and then in "The Name of the Doctor", she sacrifices herself for him. (And she doesn't survive. That's what makes the sacrifice meaningful! Curse you, Moffat, who kills characters for melodrama but always brings them back!)
That's the story arc I'd like to write. It would allow for each appearance of Clara to be completely different in looks and personality, and the season would be full of adventure episodes across all of time and space, which is really what Doctor Who does best. And then after the big reveal, you could look back at the entire season and see how it all fit together. Unfortunately, that would be a bloody huge undertaking, involving a character I really don't like. But there it is. That's my AU series 7.2.