shivver13 (shivver13) wrote,

This is why you should never call home

My husband absolutely hates calling home to mom.

I'm not even counting the gulf between them that has been growing ever greater for the past few years. He's always hated calling her, because it's always a half-hour of her blabbing stories to him about people he doesn't even know and not taking a single interest in anything he has to say. But this weekend, it was the absolute worst.

He called her for the first time since Mother's Day, which, he admits readily, is his fault and he wasn't going to be surprised or offended if she was angry. She wasn't, and the conversation settled into its normal cadence (see above), and he diddled on the computer while murmuring "uh-huh" into the phone at appropriate moments. A full one-quarter of the 45-minute call was her story about how her A/C broke and she had to have someone come in and fix it. He managed to end the call with receiving only one lecture during it, on how I (yes, me) should spend more time looking at the photos I've taken on my trips. (Really?)

About an hour later, he says, "It seems really hot in here." You guessed it: our A/C broke. We spent the rest of the day sweating to death and trying to get the house in shape so that a repairman could get in to fix it. (Yes, we're slobs.) But we completely blame his mother, for cursing our A/C.

Never call home.

In other news, I had this completely awesome experience in Guild Wars 2 this weekend. DW-related, of course. It takes quite a bit of set-up, so here goes.

GW2 is an MMO (massively-multiplayer online game), but, like most MMOs, it provides some amount of backstory that's specific to your character so that you feel that your character is special and not just one of a horde of players. When it first came out, GW2 provided a line of quests called your "personal story", which detailed how the world was threatened by the awakening of one of the elder dragons, Zhaitan, and how you pulled the warring races together to defeat it. With each new expansion and content update, they release further story for your character.

The elder dragons are extremely powerful forces of nature that spend millennia sleeping, and then when they wake, pretty much try to eat everything. Thus, the second major installment of storyline had to do with the awakening of the next elder dragon, Mordremoth, and how you and your comrades defeated it.

The third story was about the god Balthazar, who had been weakened by the humans during the first Guild Wars game and was returning to exact revenge. His plan was to kill the elder dragon Kralkatorrik and absorb its power, but your comrades discover that killing elder dragons is actually not a good thing: when you kill one, the others become more powerful, creating a power imbalance that threatens the world just by existing. Thus, you have to kill Balthazar to save Kralkatorrik. In order to do so, your character tricks the armies of the tyrant god-lich Palawa Joko into thinking you're him and commands them to fight Balthazar's army while you confront and kill the god himself. His life essence is then absorbed by Kralkatorrik, and his story will be the next expansion. However, in the meantime, Palawa Joko has returned, and he's not particularly happy with you.

These stories are presented as "missions" you have to do - basically picture them as episodes of a TV show, except that you're moving the character around and doing the things that the main character of the show normally does. They're balanced so that you can do each mission by yourself but allow up to five players to participate. Thus, since everything's always better when I do them with my husband (except writing - he better be nowhere near me when I'm writing), we do the story missions together. He normally leads the story, which means that his character is the one speaking and doing everything, even on my computer, so I'm actually watching his character's story, not mine. Whenever the main character talks, it's his character's voice. If there's a cinematic, it's of his character doing things. Note: This is important for later.

So on Saturday, we went through the Palawa Joko story, my husband using his pretty female thief character and me using my Tenth Doctor character. We make it all the way through Joko's fortress and finally confront him, fight him, and defeat him easily, leaving him a pile of bones between us. It was so easy that I remarked that that was actually anticlimactic. Then the bones rise and reform, and Joko rises again, mocking us - well, mocking my husband's character, since, remember, I'm watching her story - that we thought he could be killed.

He then traps the character in stasis, and as the character is trembling, paralyzed and wide-eyed, he launches into a speech, mocking the character that she thought she was a hero, but all of her actions have instead brought the world to the brink of ruin, as she's killed two elder dragons and empowered another by killing a god. Throughout the scene, the camera is close-up on the character's face, terrified at the realization of fault, as Joko points out that while the character considers Joko to be evil because he's a tyrant in the lands that he controls, the character has doomed the entire world trying to be its hero.


For some reason, though I was in my husband's story mission, the entire scene on my computer was done with my character as the focus. My character - the Tenth Doctor. Thus, what I saw was the Doctor, immobilized and helpless by the withered tyrant, being shown how he thought he was doing good while in reality was dooming the world. It was an inadvertent re-enactment of the final showdown in "Journey's End", and it was completely awesome.

Oh, and then in a total deus ex machina, the character's dragon companion appeared out of nowhere and ate Joko - which pretty much mirrored the victory in "Journey's End" as well. :)

And then lastly... A few days ago, I was looking for something in my room (see "slob" comment in the first cut), tossing clothes into a pile in the corner. I came back later that day to find this:

'Nuff said.
Tags: real life

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