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It really is my fault for expecting a different outcome.

I've lived all my life among family and friends who've never truly partook of the celebrity culture. Sure, we have our idols who we love simply because they are master entertainers (and, oh, let me tell you, it embarrasses me to think what my idol must be thinking about us now), but we've always understood that celebrity does not necessarily equate to intelligence or morality.

I've lived all my life in areas of mixed race and high education, places where the color of your skin or the amount of money in your pocket doesn't matter because it becomes quickly apparent that it's really the facility of the brain and the contents of the heart that makes a person.

I've lived all my life among people who didn't care how your flesh was shaped between your legs. My mother and all of my aunts - both sides of the family - had college degrees in the 40s and 50s, and all had careers. For me and my sister, going to college and then on to graduate work wasn't a privilege - it was natural. We work alongside our male colleagues without any thought of who might be limited because of their gender.

I've lived all my life with true freedom of religion. My mother wanted me to find God, and she let me look. She was Methodist, but she encouraged me to explore and find my own beliefs, my own morality. I mostly studied Christianity, but I looked into other belief systems. Most of all, she accepted my decision in the end. Among my extended family, we have Christians of many denominations, Buddhists, Shinto, agnostics, atheists, and even one Jewish member - and it's never mattered once. Belief stayed free.

However, what I've really never had is any real experience in the way the other side lives, and that's my fault. All these things I take for granted, they're not the norm for most people, and I knew that, but I think I didn't know that. That's why this whole election has terrified me. It scared me that we ever got into the situation where a sociopathic fascist could hope to gain the presidency of this country, and now I'm terrified that he has actually attained it.

I just don't understand how this happened.

How did we get to the point where people idolize a man's celebrity so much, they're willing to support him even though every word out of his mouth demonstrates his self-interest and lack of conscience and intelligence?

Why do the Christians who voted for him believe in a man who espouses practices diametrically opposite those that Christ urged his followers to adopt?

How in the world did a man get elected on a platform of hate and egomania?

I suppose if I've learned anything today, it's that this country hasn't grown up, hasn't learned its lessons from history and matured into a society of respect and love. I should have already known that, of course - the fact that we're still arguing over whose taxes should pay for our infrastructure and children's education is a red flag right there - but this just drives it home. People are so afraid that the simple presence of someone next door is going to ruin their lives rather than make everyone's lives better, that they're willing to listen to a man who tells them that the solution is to kill them all.

I'm in the minority, in every way you categorize my life - I'm a female, Asian, college-educated atheist - and I'm terrified. I'm terrified to walk out of my door this morning, because I'm visibly different. I'm terrified of what might happen to my husband, who is a white male of Mediterranean descent, which means he looks Latino or Arabic at a glance. I'm terrified of what will happen over the next four years, as walls are built to protect the white male hegemony with the blessing of the American people.

I just don't understand. How did we get here?



( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 9th, 2016 03:47 pm (UTC)
Well... I can see where you stand.
Nov. 9th, 2016 03:52 pm (UTC)
Yeah. I might be standing across a border sooner than later.
Nov. 9th, 2016 06:31 pm (UTC)
President Obama has just said that we are all Americans regardless of our disagreements, and we should pull together. I cannot agree more. We will pull together, the world will not end.

Nov. 9th, 2016 09:14 pm (UTC)
It's my naivete, not anyone else's. I believed in human decency. I was wrong.
Nov. 9th, 2016 09:39 pm (UTC)
So you're saying that those who elected President-Elect Trump are not decent people? That they couldn't have chosen him because of decent reasons? That they couldn't have had valid reasons for not voting for Sec. Clinton? That perhaps the policies of recent years might not have served many of the people well?

Nov. 9th, 2016 11:54 pm (UTC)
I tried to put my thoughts into words, and this is what I came up with: I find Trump to be a horrible, hateful person, for many reasons - many of which he has promised to codify into law. For some voters, they agreed with these things that I deeply object to and that's why they voted for him. For the other voters, they didn't agree with these things but decided that they were an acceptable sacrifice.

Simply put, I cannot agree with either perspective.
Nov. 10th, 2016 12:49 am (UTC)
I see... I'm just trying to get this perspective, too. Have a good evening. Remember that, in the end, we are in charge and can push back (in a positive manner) if things start to go awry.

We'll be ok, we've survived a lot.. ok? I do hope people can try to learn to disagree without being disagreeable, something that seems to have been lost lately. We'll all pull through.

Have a good night.
Nov. 9th, 2016 08:31 pm (UTC)

As a female with a special needs child I am afraid as well. I am white, as is my husband and my child, but I am scared for those who are not.

You are welcome at my house to vent or just hang out at any time. *hugs*

Nov. 9th, 2016 09:18 pm (UTC)
Even living in our bluer-than-blue state, I'm scared. Not here in town, but when I've gone to the outlying little towns to march in parades, I've seen the looks I've gotten as the only Asian around that day - probably the only one all year. I think I might not participate in marching band next summer.
Nov. 9th, 2016 09:22 pm (UTC)
So, another voting with shocking results, even for the citizens. After the parliament election in my country and then Brexit, it only proves people are the same everywhere. For now, xenophobia and intolerance win.

I'm sorry you feel scared.
Nov. 9th, 2016 09:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I suppose the big problem is that it's going to be the same wherever I go. Though honestly, I'd feel better living in a country where there weren't so many guns. Last night, my friend said that celebrating people were driving through his neighborhood firing semi-automatic weapons - and this was in suburb in a blue (Democrat) state.
Nov. 9th, 2016 09:51 pm (UTC)
Well... I heard someone shot a bunch of people because they were upset with the results, and others burned American flags and more rioted.

You know what? President Obama said we need to unite as one people now. Elections will happen, we don't always see the result we want. Elected people can (or should) be held accountable for what they do, and don't think the new administration won't have its feet held to the fire, especially with a strong opposition who wants to go about it in a calm, rational, peaceful manner! So never give up hope!

The media needs to be held accountable as well. They didn't report the news, just opinion... and then were surprised when people don't behave like their opinion. Not the first time it's happened in the past few years, is it?
Nov. 9th, 2016 09:23 pm (UTC)

I don't know what else to say to make it better. Sorry. :'(

[but I will have a spare bedroom available next year, should it be needed]
Nov. 9th, 2016 09:41 pm (UTC)
Thanks. There's not much to do, really, except live with it, or leave, which is an option that's sounding better and better. Thanks for the offer of your spare bedroom! (Seriously, though, maybe I might take you up on that - I'm hoping to hop across the pond for a few weeks next year.)
Nov. 9th, 2016 11:17 pm (UTC)
I think our views here (though not exactly parallel) are pretty much hand in hand. My life has always been different and inclusive of others, so I suppose I truly did not see this coming.

I'm afraid for so many people. I'm tired and depressed and discouraged. I don't know what to call my country now, but home will not be it for much longer (methinks).
Nov. 10th, 2016 12:02 am (UTC)
Yeah. My husband and I were discussing plans to leave today, but we're at a place in our lives right now where we want to stay, due to our jobs being exactly what we want at this time in our careers - eight months ago, we would have gone.
Nov. 10th, 2016 12:28 am (UTC)
We can't afford to move next door, but we don't really have the choice to stay. We fight to survive daily, so I have NO idea how we'll pull this off - but that's it: we struggle to survive NOW...and we can't do it at insurmountable levels in the future. Our children have disabilities and need their insurance and education - and that is no longer a guarantee. I wish we could stay. then again, I wish this was the country I thought we always were. I love my country. But I'm no longer proud of it.
Nov. 10th, 2016 12:48 am (UTC)
I wish I had anything out here I could offer you. I have a feeling that there's going to be an influx of people here, trying to find a better situation. Not that I think there's necessarily a better situation here at all.
Nov. 10th, 2016 02:28 am (UTC)
Oh, honey...

It is truly the thought that counts - and you are a lovely, kind soul. Blessings to you and hubby. I am keeping my fingers crossed that your lives will not experience any upheaval - in fact, I hope it only gets better for you both!

Thank you...

Nov. 12th, 2016 02:04 pm (UTC)

Take care, and be safe. Sharing your dismay and disbelief, albeit from afar ♥
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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